Love and grief in the time of coronavirus

Ah, young and in love in 2007. Now it is 2020, and I am really having a hard time getting my head around what is happening in our world. As I have told friends, I’m thankful that Paul is not here to deal with the stress of being sick and going through treatment during something as unexpected and frightening as the current pandemic. While that may be true, I’m finding the experience to be daunting without his reassuring presence.

I am proud of being capable on my own, and I am lucky to have multiple groups of lifetime friends to turn to. But this is the kind of thing that really makes me yearn for my life partner. So often he was my guiding voice, the one who read all the different sides of an issue, and had a good grasp on things at a high level. I wish he could be here when I wake up in the morning and remember that our world is in a surreal lockdown.

One good thing that has been coming out of this is increased (virtual) contact with my friends. Zoom and google chats, phone calls, and text. These connections are vital to my mental health, and if I can maintain that, I’ll get through this.